Admittedly…

If you say the word “Admittedly” syllable for syllable, you may find (as I did) that you pronounce this word “At”-“mid”-“ehtly.” At least in the first two syllables, this is completely backwards.

Anyways,

It has been some time since I posted here, and the reason for that is this: Admittedly, I am very boring. I would like to think that I am the sort of person who is very good at keeping up with a blog; however, this is not the case. I have done a lot of nose picking and wedgie-correcting since my last post and not much more.

Updates: I have bought all of the remaining pieces of my computer (I am poised to build a working machine, and we shall see how “easy” such a task is); and I have commandeered bitcoin in such a way that I should be purchasing something from the darknet soon (one of my goals from this year — to be clear [Dear, NSA Reader] and to reiterate [Dear, Vigilante Reader]: nothing illegal; I am just interested in learning how to purchase wares in such a manner).

These updates have been entered into the log.

Read ahead to hear about more technical updated.

Technical Updates: I have installed the program “VirtualBox” on my Mac. I will not detail here the many ways to upload operating systems into this program, as there are so many YouTube videos on this topic (write me for a recommendation if you can find nothing useful); however, I have loaded two Linux programs named Kali and Security Onion into this system.

This may seem (to the lesser technical bunch) to be an accomplishment. Praise Be!

It turns out that you can get these Operating Systems to run without knowing a god damn thing about anything but how to tie a fishing line.

So, Kali and Security Onion are both complex, professional-level systems. I am watching YouTube videos to understand them — needless to say, I do not yet understand them in any meaningful way.

Me… Vs… Tech.

I JUST BOUGHT BITCOIN!!!

OMG!

I just bought bitcoin for the first time!

I now am the proud owner of $8.89 cents worth of BitCoin (0.005… something or other).

So, in the last episode of this crucial blogcast, I had an issue viewing the charges that CoinBase claimed they would charge to my bank account in my bank account summary. I had thought it was my browser (for reasons that do not include voided warranties).

It turns out that it was a problem with my bank!!! I tried a different exchange service called “Kraken” (I may have mentioned this before, but what do I know? It’s all in the past now). This Kraken service includes a “tier” system in which you get verified, and, based on the your level of verification, you are allowed to navigate the site in different ways.

FOR EXAMPLE: You sign up… great. Now you are able to transfer BitCoin you already own to and from your own accounts.

You submit your verified email address and phone number: Now you are able to deposit and withdraw BitCoin only.

You have your address verified: Now you are able to deposit different kinds of money and withdraw whatever stuff (I am angry about tier 3, because I thought tier 3 was all I needed — I submitted my address to these people).

Next tier you have to scan a government approved ID and your social security number!!! What?! You can only deposit cash money to the exchange site if they have your social security number? I said, “Bump that!”

I decided to take the delay in CoinBase’s charges more seriously after the other website asked for my government credentials. As I mentioned above, it turns out that my bank was blocking the charges because they appeared so suspect.

So, if you are trying to do what I did and get verified with an exchange site that charges your card before letting you use the site: please make sure your bank is aware the charges are coming. They, apparently, look very suspicious.

BitCoin Blues

From the most imperative technology blog on the internet, a new report: Sorry, for the delay.

I did some researching, and the internet has assured me that my browser may be the problem (~and it has nothing to do with the fact that I pretending I knew what I was doing and screwed around with “about:config” in firefox — newbs, type this into your firefox browser url line thingy, and DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING~).

So, now I am trying again with a new browser!

Hopefully, I will have an actual update soon!

Buying BitCoin…

I am typing this while I buy BitCoin…

and drinking wine. Long time followers of this crucial internet blog will know that I don’t know what bitcoin is, but I am interested in getting my virtual hands on some.

The equally crucial WikiHow will be helping me (http://www.wikihow.com/Buy-Bitcoins).

WikiHow to Buy BitCoin

1. WikiHow confirms my suspicion that bitcoin is a completely nonmaterial currency. Troubling? The internet don’t say so.
2. Ok, WikiHow says to learn about bitcoin mining? * < that's an asterisk that means to see the asterisked note below.
3. This WikiHow business is not helpful. If you are newb, avoid. On to the next one…

Well, that sucked. Next on the “internet” was CoinBase (https://www.coinbase.com/buy-bitcoin)

CoinBase Attempt

1. Step one: “Sign up for CoinBase”… No.

Another failed attempt.

Whoa, whoa, whoa… the third hit on the “internet” was BITCOIN.COM? Why wasn’t that hit #1?

Alright, my attempt:

Buying BitCoin with BitCoin.com

1. It says to “Inform Yourself.” Thanks to WikiHow, I feel so informed, my eyes are bleeding.
2. Choose your wallet is step 2. Wallet?
3. Alright, I did all the boring reading for you, and I don’t know nothing about no BitCoin security, so don’t trust me; but, I went with BreadWallet on the iPhone. For those of you uneducated types, that’s an app found in the “App Store” on your iPhone. The app image look like this:
   
   When you set it up, you are given a series of words called a passphrase. I don’t know nothing, but the app says it is super important that you never lose/share/misinterpret these words. Because of this warning, I am scared to share mine. But, it involved the word “spider.” And, no, I am not scared to share it because I am afraid you will be lose your minds as if you had seen Cthulu.

4. Third step says to find an “exchange.” Look, “internet,” I literally want to give you cash money USD and get BitCoin back. I am the perfect victim. Why is this so hard?

   Alright, there is an American exchange called CoinBase. Wait… I already went to CoinBase and they said I had to be a member. To spend money? Why kind of club is this?

5. Ok, ok. I did some research on CoinBase. Looks fine? It claims to have been around since 2012. And, from my extensive, investigative “Googling,” it sounds like a lot of credence revolves around the lifetime of these companies. So, for example, I would not fiddle with somebody who had just opened in 2017, because they don’t have a history/”reputation to protect,” and they could be just an open-up/get-your-cash/close-doors operation. I’ll try this CoinBase thing.
6. It demands I enter an email. I got one. It looks like this:
   

7. Well, Hell fire, man. It wants me to give em all sorts of detail about my personalities. That blacked out area is where my email was, because I don’t trust you blog-reader types.
   

8. Well, what in the Sam Hill is this gahbij?
   
   This website wants to make sure I am a human by asking me to identify street signs?! Looks, I ain’t no Silicon Valley rock star; but if I was a Google Street driver, I would think to myself, “Wouldn’t it be useful if we could identify street signs?”

   I mean, if I were to lose my future bitcoin fortune of $10 USD because a Google Street driver made the wrong move, I would be upset.

9. It asked me again:
   
   Needless to say, I was successful in identifying the street signs blocks and what not.

10. Ok, now it won’t let me sign in. I had to send an “I forgot my password” email to my recently added email address. Then again, I ain’t no pro, so I might’ve done the password wrong.
11. Ok. It turns out you have to have cookies enabled. Most of you probably will, but I didn’t because I am crazy.
12. I gotta decide what kind of BitCoin account I have and/or am going to have? Ok…
    

13. Ok, so this website asks for your phone number, and then it texts your phone. It texted me a code like you would get if you had two-factor authentication or whatever for your GMail account. I haven’t given this thing any information yet that could break my bank account, so, I feel pretty good about this!
14. OMG!, As SOON as I said that! And this wasn’t even planned or nothing. This was totally I typed this as I was doing it:
    

15. Okay, so now I gotta decide… Do I move forward with this and give up my personal bank account info?
    I mean… somebody before me had to have done this… Ok, to be sure, I am going to do some extra Googling of CoinBase. Be back shortly (though, to you, it will look like no time at all).

16. Ok, ok, ok. The “internet” seems to think that CoinBase is pretty safe. Apparently, they are “insured.” I know what insurance is, but I do not know what “insurance” is when you are talking about strings of numbers (which is what BitCoins are, apparently).
17. So, this has to be a scam right?
    

18. Well, because you followers have been so loyal, I have decided to put myself at risk so you can know whether or not CoinBase is safe.
    To be clear, I am taking all of the risk; so soon I will have a bitcoin wallet to which you can send donations or congratulations.

19. Ok, I am waiting on those charges to hit my account. So, a page came up that mde me think I had to type in the numbers I wanted to show up in my account; but, apparently, this was a field in which to type the charges I will receive. So, I am waiting for that.

To be continued….

Securing Security…

There’s one more thing…

I didn’t add to my list on the about page of this internet-crucial blog: I am also interested in learning about security online.

This in addition to my interest in BitCoin probably makes me sound like some cyber criminal, but I’m not — I’m quite a square, actually. I just find these things interesting.

Over the past few months, I have come across a number of people on the Twitter social media platform who have pointed out some simple steps to protecting your privacy online. One of these people is @SarahJamieLewis who seems like a super useful resource for online security.

I added a couple of browser extensions per her suggestion (and, the last one, I just stumbled upon):

• uBlock Origin
• HTTPS Everywhere
• (Found accidentally) Self-Destructing Cookies

As long-time followers of this essential blog will know, I don’t know what I’m talking about. But, after some very in depth Googling, I can confidently say that HTTPS Everywhere is a good thing — even if you don’t care so much about your privacy online.

uBlock Origin blocks ads.

And, finally, Self-Destructing Cookies literally deletes cookies from sites after you close the browser tab for that site. If you are a complete novice, like me, Self-Destructing cookies is the most fun of these extensions, because I had no idea how many sites were putting cookies on my computer until I turned that on (hint: it’s most if not all).

Here are the links to those things (they are all free), even though a quick internet search would likely pull them up (also, I am using them on Firefox here):

• uBlock Origin: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ublock-origin/
• HTTPS Everywhere: https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
• Self-Destructing Cookies: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/self-destructing-cookies/

As I said above and I say all the time, I am no pro here. But, I think knowing how you are being tracked online can’t hurt; and I feel like taking at least some kind of control over the footprint you leave behind can’t be a bad thing. So, I’d like to learn more about that.

Anyway, some other internet person I can’t remember pointed me to an article by @hacks4pancakes (what does that mean; like literally? or is that internet code slang?) about removing data that has been collected on you from the internet.

That article can be found here: https://tisiphone.net/2017/01/25/thwart-my-osint-efforts-while-binging-tv/

Again, the woman who wrote this appears to be an absolutely crucial resource for information security, and, based on how she wrote this article, it sounds like even a bozo like me could do this. I’d like to go through all of her steps and see how much info about me is just hanging out on the internet!

Parts…

So, I received some computer parts…

I have received some computer parts! Long time followers of this crucial blog will remember that I was harshly criticized by “the anonymous internet” for my choice of parts. I don’t really understand why, so, once I have received everything, I will report back with any quality issues.

Frankly, given my limited knowledge and experience, the only issue I see here is the RAM. I have no idea what I have, but a tech-savvy friend handed me some RAM they weren’t using and told me it would work.

Here is what I have so far (text description below respective images, not above):

This is a motherboard that was relatively cheap. I saw some good reviews about it, and the bad ones I saw all looked like they were related to issues that were covered in the warranty. So, I took a shot.

This is “weak sauce.” I get it. Stop telling me. I just want to put something together that runs an operating system.

This was delivered to me in bubble wrap with no factory packaging. That was weird. If this don’t work, I’m gonna have some words. It’s a hard drive, for those wondering.

This is a solid state drive. I don’t know much more about it, other than it is supposed to be fast, and everybody on the anonymous internet said I should have one.

This is the RAM that friend gave me. I haven’t invested in this, so, if it doesn’t work, I’ll likely be picking some up. They said it would be fine, but, I reckon I’ll be the judge of that.

Alright, next I need to get a case, a graphics card, and some cooling unit people said I should have.

I already have a monitor and all of that peripheral business (yeah, I get it, nothing l33t or whatever, it’s just a screen and a wireless keyboard/mouse combo).

One more thing…

I am still researching the bitcoin business. I was looking at a company called Genesis, and I was concerned — the reviews that looked like they could have been written by a human were all bad, while all of the positive reviews were like “It’s good, please do.”

Still looking and watching YouTubes. It sounds like this is really gaining steam these days, so I kinda want to get on board before the cause is lost!

See That About Page…

I wrote my aims on the about page, so to get where I am coming from, feel free to check that out. I went to some website where you pick out all of the parts you want to put in your computer.

Additionally, like on those RateMe sites I have never submitted pictures to where they said I should work on my comb over, you can post all of your parts and the guys and gals in the community can tell you where you need to focus or where you might need help.

I posted my “build” as it’s called and somebody dropped off this jewel (when I took the screen shot, I didn’t include the username, because I was concerned all of my fans from this absolutely crucial blog might start a witch hunt):

I said, “Ok, pal. I can take a licking when I need to, so, be brutal with me. Tell me where I went wrong. What do I need help with?”

So I bought all of the parts, as I took this to mean that those who need help must help themselves.

Images of my rad build coming soon!